What I Learned

I pride myself in being an optimistic person that tries to find the good in everything I face. However, I allowed that optimism to waiver mid December. It started from not being called to work and not knowing why. Knowing vacation was approaching, I let doubt get the best of me. As a result my faith began to waiver. The funny thing is that little gap allowed an all out downward spiral. Obligations kept popping up, bills kept coming in and my work days were limited. I've never been faced with not being called before so it really caught me off guard and that is what led me to this end of 2013 beginning of 2014 post. If I had a back up plan, it wouldn't matter if I didn't get called to work. As I dwelled on this my smile hid, my outlook was grim, I got a pimple (mind you, that's a big thing because I've never had acne in my life), I cried, wrestled with my emotions, prayed and worried (even though I believe if you pray about it, you aren't supposed to worry about it) and I questioned why? The more I questioned, the further down I went. I still don't know why but I can honestly say the why doesn't matter anymore. What does matter like I said before is having a back up plan an alternative solution. This actually holds true in all areas of our lives. There's actually an old saying, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." With that said, as you welcome 2014 strengthen your resolve and don't allow doubt to alter your faith. Things are going to happen so, evaluate where you are and prepare yourself for the possibilities / potential obstacles and when you face them, face them with a smile and the firm belief that this to shall pass and things will work out.

Acceptance

Sometimes you're dealt a hand that you don't even know how to play. Things change and you don't know why. You try to make the best of it and act like it doesn't matter but it does. If you allow it to, it wreaks havoc on your day to day existence. You think about it, give it to much power and question what you did all while knowing you did what you were expected to do (sometimes more) when given the chance. The hard part is your livelihood can be affected by it. That's when it becomes a real problem. At that point, all you can do is hold on, have faith and accept that sometimes there's no explanation for what you're going through, you just have to accept that things happen and be active in finding a solution. Wherever you are; whatever you face, hang in there. Hold on to your faith, hope for the best and believe that things will work out. 

Happy Veteran's Day!!!

"A hero / (she -roe) is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to preserve and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles. ~ Christopher Reeve

"How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she -roes!" ~ Maya Angelou
First, let me start with ~To all the veterans that have served,  continue to serve and given their life for our country and our freedom: I'm free to dream, believe, inspire, pursue, to live, love and laugh... because of YOU and I THANK YOU for that! Happy Veteran's Day to all of you!!!

Because of our Veterans and others that have made a difference in my life and the life of others, these two quotes really stand out today. We are fortunate that so many individuals serve /have served our country. Their capacity in our lives as well as our everyday heroes and "she-roes" that we  look up to and admire leave us grateful for what they have done for us, shown us and taught us.  Each of us choose our heroes and she - roes for reasons only we know.  The common thread is that they touch our lives and make a difference in it that is immeasurable to anything else.  Today as we honor the men and women that chose to serve our country for whatever reason, take a moment to truly thank them as well as any one else that has made a lasting impact on your life.

Mistakes

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." ~ Albert Einstein ... 

We are all imperfect beings, trying to find our way / our place. We make decisions and choices on a daily basis and in doing so, we also make mistakes and that's a good thing because it means we're trying something new / learning new things. As you go through life, don't dwell on the mistakes you've made / have yet to make, instead focus on the possibilities. Take a chance, do your best and learn from your mistakes. In doing this, you will continue to grow and experience new things. You won't just be existing, you'll be living. As for your mistakes, make adjustments and corrections along the way so you don't continue to make the same ones.

Triumph

Everyday someone somewhere faces some kind of loss. Whether it's loss of a loved one, loss of innocence, loss of hope, loss of faith, loss of a game, loss of belief in oneself or loss of something that really matters, it's something we all must go through at some point in time or another because the challenge of losing or having to let go is inevitable. However, it's how we handle those losses and what we gain from them that makes the difference. We must realize that every loss brings about mixed emotions and a gain of some kind. It could be knowledge that someone cares, a lesson learned, a desire to improve oneself, a hug or some form of comfort that at the very moment you receive it, you feel at the very least, a little better. The difference that is made in that moment can take on many forms, it can dry your tears, become inspiration, help you through the journey of acceptance, give you insight, restore hope, strengthen you and your faith and / or it can simply give you a reason to go on. So, take the time to recall a loss, not to dwell in the let down / pain but to realize the gains that came from it. Reflect on how you got through it or how you're getting through it and continue to believe that everything happens for a reason and most importantly that within us and around us, we have who and what we need to continue and make the best of our journey through life.

Take a Moment

Take a moment to think about your ups and downs, wins and losses, successes and failures,and your good days and bad days too. As you think about them, you'll realize they have a few things in common. They made you laugh, cry, smile, believe and most importantly, you got through them. Who you are and where you're at in life are a direct result of the things you've been through and the choices you've made. The fact that you're able to reflect on your life is a blessing in itself. Although we don't get do overs, we get a chance to make changes when necessary or simply enjoy where we're at / what we have at any given moment. The healing and growth that takes place on a daily basis contributes to our perception of our life experiences. It is my and prayer that when you take a moment to think about your life, you find that the good outweighs the bad.

Happy Halloween

Have a  "fang " - tastic and "spook" - tacular day!!!

Their Smiles

As I sit here missing her, missing him, missing them. I'm reminded of this more than ever. Being their mother is definitely a treat. 

One thing I could always count on, on any given day was Kam and Brit’s smile. No matter what we were going through / doing, we had a reason to smile. I remember not being able to look them in the eye when I was disciplining them because their smile would get the best of me and my heart would melt. Times like that, reminded me why I always told them don’t let anything take your joy. Countless situations have shown me / taught me that when all else fails or simply just because, smile; because your smile can possibly spare you the wrath of your mom as well as open doors and hearts. These days, Kam’s smile resides in my memories and Brit’s shines as bright as ever and yes, there are still times that I don’t look her in the eye but I do and always will, love their smiles.

Take A Look

Look around you.Think of where you are, where you've come from and where you've been. Think of all your accomplishments and your let downs. Think about the things that made / make you laugh and the things that make you cry (remember, some tears are tears of joy and some of them cleanse your soul). Think of the good times and the bad times. Think about your friendships, your relationships and your time with family. Think of your lessons learned and the things you long to forget. Think of your memorable moments and your cherished memories. Think of all that makes you; YOU! After you're done reminiscing, I'm sure your heart will be lighter, you'll have a smile on your face and gratitude in your heart because in this world that is full of so many unknowns, there is the reality that life is good when you take the time to experience all that comes with it.

One of THOSE Days

There are days that heartache awakens you. Your fears, doubts and insecurities collide and you are left restless. You know that you have to release your worries and have faith that everything is going to work out but that's not always easy to do. You struggle to embrace the possibilities while trying to silence all that keeps you from believing that everything happens for a reason. It's a place we end up when we face trials, uncertainties and sometimes letting go but if we think about it and take a trip down memory lane, we will see that things will and do work out. We all have a story to tell that is full of things we've gotten through, been through, survived and weathered. Knowing that doesn't make THOSE days any easier to face. It just reminds us that we or someone we know has been where we are and a way was made. We got through. They got through. With that in mind, I'm working on thinking positive thoughts, remembering good times, claiming that today is a good day and doing all I can to make it one.

Try This - It Works

Have hope in hard times
Find strength in good times
Hold on to your faith at all times
Believe this to shall pass
Realize that resilience pays off
Know that you are not alone
Accept reality
Dream about the possibilities
Work through rather than worry
Choose to let go when holding on runs its course
Forgive
Try to forget
Cry when you're sad
Smile when you're happy
Cherish what was
Remember it too
Show up
Approach
Dare to find something good in all you face
Take risks and chances as you live your life
Share yourself with the world
Pray for yourself and others through it all

This Life We Live

On a daily basis, we face / go through so much. A good day can have some not so good moments but, the way we choose to deal with what we face / go through makes a big difference in the outcome. I have found that optimism is my friend. The downward spiral of pessimism and worry, takes too much energy. Each day, I imagine the possibilities. I may or may not act on them but I know they're there. We can choose our path, our actions. our outlook. It is up to us to make the best of this life we live. We have to decide what's important to us; what matters most. When we do that, we consciously and actively live. Leave existing for those that chose to accept where they are as where they're destined to be. A day doesn't have to be bad and life isn't meant to be wasted. Choose to find the positive, the lesson, the blessing, the opportunity, the reason to make the most of all you face. At the end of the day, you will find that your day was what you made it; what you allowed it to be. Enjoy your days! Enjoy your life! You and only you can let someone or something steal your joy but if you think about it, it's not worth it because this life we live has no guarantees so make the most of your options while you can.

Just a Thought

Don't settle, accept, give silent permission, give up, let others control/run over you, ignore your gut feelings, allow, regret...BREAK your own heart!

The Things You Do

 There are things and people we take for granted. Nothing is our due just as nothing is promised. We'll see and go through things. Some of those things will hurt more than others. All of them will be a part of who we are/become. What lies behind, leads us to what is and helps us through the in-betweens. It's a journey of unknowns, it's unpredictable,breathtaking and at times indescribable.Whatever your journey entails, remember to show those that you love that you love them.Respect others and their boundaries. Give, help, work for what you want/need and make time for the little things. As you do all those things, do them in a way that just the mere mention of your name brings a smile.

Just Do It!!!

If you're like me, there's something you need/want to do,finish, improve, complete, start, quit doing, learn, accomplish and/or get over. We have what it takes to do it but for some reason, we work harder at not getting it done than we do at finding a way to see things through.Procrastination, fear, lack of resources, willpower... may be part of the problem too. Whatever the case may be, we need to quit working so hard at putting things off and saying we'll get around to it and use that energy to get to that to do, want to do, have to do, need to do or just simply would like to do list and start checking things off. Yep, we just need to do what needs to be done and while we're at it, we need to make time for the want to do / would like to do stuff too.

Excuses

 A lot of times we put more effort into making excuses than we put into finding solutions. If you want to achieve something, you have to reach for it. Put your excuses by the wayside and start reaching. The only power your excuses hold, is the power you give them. To release their hold, start with accountability. Address your excuses. Stop using them to cop out and give up. Remind yourself that for every reason not to do something that contributes to the betterment of you, there's one or more to do it. This will help you stop giving reasons why you can't all while helping you come up with reasons and actions that prove that you can. Take responsibility. Step up and step out of the excuse zone which is better known as the blame game. Things happen, have happened, will happen; acknowledge them, put them in perspective and keep progressing. There's no excuse good enough to stop you from being who you might have been / can be.

Choices

"Make choices that are good for you because you deserve the best!" ~ unknown

Find What Works

There are times that life seems to get the best of you. There are so many issues that one must deal with such as grief, work, school, health issues, relationship problems, unemployment, family drama, uncertainty; to name a few. Each of these have the potential to become major stressors. Instead of letting that happen, find a motivating memory, word, phrase or action that helps you find a way through the stressor you face. Smile until you convince yourself you're happy, laugh when you feel like crying and keep believing when you feel like giving up. There's no problem that lacks a solution. It may be a little harder than we want it to be but if we don't give up /in, we can find a way through all we face and more often than not learn a few things along the way all while becoming stronger and possibly a living testimony for someone else.

Life

"This being human is a guest house. Every morning brings a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture; still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight..." -  Rumi

I saved this from an English class years ago. I had to analyze it. Then, it seemed like a waste of time. Now, not so much. My life has given it meaning. It's amazing how words, lyrics, stanzas sum up our existence. When you think about it, the definition of life is so vague once you take all that it holds and all that comes with it into consideration. Each of us can and will interpret this differently because life is synonymous with so much and each of us holds our own definition of it. However, it holds a common truth that however we define it, life is to be lived and experienced.

A Quote I Like

"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong active faith." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

Without Regret

As we go through our days, we have the opportunity to do so much. We  have no idea what the day holds when it starts but as it goes by, we can choose to forgive, visit, call, hang out, check on and or do something for / with someone that we love or just because. Work, money and time falls into the equation and a lot of times we blame that on what we don't do / can't do / won't do.Each of those things matter but there are things you can do without them and around them and you should. There are memories to be made, things to be done, dreams to chase, adventures to experience, peace to be made and moments to treasure. You have to be willing to put the effort forward to make the best of your life and time with those that matter the most in your life; yourself included. Our days here are short and numbered to say the least. We can live them longing, wanting, wishing or doing, rejoicing and enjoying. What we choose stays with us long after the days come and go. Woulda, coulda, shoulda leaves you regretting so much. The remorse, sadness and disappointment that comes with not doing, saying, participating, being, forgiving is a heavy burden to carry. Lighten your load, live with legal and moral reckless abandon from time to time and always and I do mean always make the time for what matters most.

What You Believe

Our beliefs can sustain us, overwhelm us, worry us, carry us, motivate us, hinder us and / or see us through. They are very powerful because what we believe defines our outlook. They can cause us to be pessimistic as we wallow through self pity because we lack the belief that things can and will get better or they can surround us with optimism and strengthen our resolve. They have this power because they give meaning to our days, our existence. Yes, what we believe to be true can take so much from us, limit us, make us settle when we should be hopeful and confident that things can, do and will work out at the same time, they can make us hopeful, bring us joy, increase our faith and give us so much to look forward to. Basically, what we hold to be true, becomes our reality. It is our right to believe what we want so by all means, follow your beliefs but don't let them imprison you and keep you from believing that good things surround you and await you. The possibilities are endless when you face what is yet to be with a positive attitude and why not me mentality.You are capable of so much.         

From Where You Are

Start where you are and let your dreams lead you. As your dreams lead you, follow your heart but beware of false promises and hidden agendas. There will be days that bring you joy. Some will bring you sadness, heartache and grief. Others will leave you asking why. Each of them will bring you a chance to do, believe, be , hope, change, move on or simply exist. It's up to you. Yes, there will be setbacks, let downs, people that try to slow you down / hold you back. Some will actually disguise themselves as loved ones and or friends; there will be naysayers and obstacles too. Rename them, call them motivators as you continue to follow your heart and dreams. You only get one go round why waste it and or let someone or something keep you from making the best of it.

This Week

A dream is never a waste of time just as chasing yours is worth the effort and energy.As this week ends and a new one begins, commit to doing what you need to do to make your dreams come true. 

Just a Thought

Take the time to figure out what matters most to you and find the time to do it.

What Next?

What do you do now that you've gotten started? Well, you keep going. This is where persistence and effort kicks in as well as lots of tenacity. I would like to say that deciding to do better/be better was all it took, but I can't.  It actually takes  that and so much more. Keep believing, keep pushing and keep going. From baby steps, big steps and leaps and bounds, each are part of the process of  doing / being your best. Each one is necessary and worth it. With that in mind, you got this and so do I! Happy, memorable, enriching and productive travels to all of us.

Destination You

Where you are, doesn't determine where you have to stay,where you can go or where you'll end up. Instead, it serves as your starting point. You just have to be willing to take the necessary steps to get to where you want to be. The challenges you meet along the way, may slow you down but they can only stop you if you let them. Strive to be better / do better. Dream your dreams and commit to making them come true. Work harder, study harder, exercise more, eat better, ask for help...basically, decide that you're worth whatever it is your heart desires. Claim it, envision it and make it happen. The only true barrier you face, is yourself. Don't give up on you. Take a moment, assess where you are, decide where you want to be and get busy getting there. Along the way, listen, learn, observe, grow, share encourage and inspire. Your experiences may be the help one needs to keep going and their experiences may teach you a thing or two all while helping you keep going. Above all have faith and believe that the possibilities and rewards are endless. You just have to have the  resolve to get started and keep going until you get to the destination you envisioned for yourself.

Everyday

Take the time to make a memory.

Along The Way

I'm not necessarily proud of everywhere I've been and everything I've done/gone through but, I'm appreciative of it. I'm grateful that I'm not where I was, blessed to be where I am and encouraged by where I want to be. I'm determined to get there and mindful of what it takes. As I head there, I'm taking the scenic route, praising and praying, remembering what needs to be remembered, and letting go of what doesn't all while enjoying and making the best of my journey. Who knows what I'll face along the way, no one but my Heavenly Father who orders my steps better than I ever could and continues to help/see me through the missteps. So, onward I continue knowing it won't always be easy but it will be worth it.

Do Overs

Someone asked, "Knowing what you know now, if you had the chance would you do it over again?" Simply put; If I did it over again, I wouldn't know what I know now. I wouldn't know what mattered most. So, live, learn, do, be, inspire, encourage, imagine, experience, love, laugh, dance, sing, listen, remember, embrace, reach out, give back, help, take a chance, hold on, endure, smile...because we don't get do overs.

Choose Wisely

Surround yourself with those that encourage you to and want you to do and be your best, that accept you as is and share like minded values. Don't get me wrong, you and your friends can be as different as night and day but if one of you embraces growing and being productive and the other maintains a do what I gotta do street life mentality, that's not a good match.Those that encourage you and hold you up in wrong or entice you to fight and get in trouble are not your friends. Your friends, fight with you and for you in different ways. They help you see what's worth it and what's not. They are there for you through it all. They are smiles, laughter, tears, joy, secret keepers, dream encouraging support systems, reminders that we can do/be better and show us that things could be worse. They are also people we can have a good time and be ourselves with. They sometimes know us better than we know ourselves and the occasional trouble you find yourself in:), leads to laughter, did we do that looks, shaking your head at yourselves, another one for the memory books moments not, trouble that follows you, labels you and is hard or impossible to get out of so, choose wisely. There are friends, acquaintances, people we meet, people we hang out with from time and people we share a smile and kind word with. The thing is, you must know who is who and allow them to be a part of your life and decisions accordingly.

Things

There are things we do and things we don't do. There are things we blame on others and things we hide from. There are things that we make excuses for and things we settle for. There are also things that we allow to control our being. All those things need to be addressed not just tucked away until we need justification for being stuck and/ or failing to do/be or best. Our fears and failures love those "THINGS" because if it wasn't for them,our possibilities would be limitless. We wouldn't constantly be going through. We wouldn't feel as if things weren't ever going to get better.We would be content and everything would be right in our world. However, it doesn't work like that. Things do and will happen. There are times that we are to blame and sometimes it's through no fault of our own. Whatever the case may be. Deal with those things. Don't hide behind them.Don't use them as reasons to justify your lack of determination and will. Don't blame them for all that is wrong. Face them! Learn from them and don't let them limit you. If this seems hard to do on your own, post the serenity prayer. - God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference - Read it daily. Memorize it.Refer to it often. Use it to help you get through the inevitable "THINGS" that come with life. Those very things are as bad or as good as you allow them to be.

Random Thoughts

It's been a while since I've written anything. I've been busy working, growing, learning, living, sometimes surviving but always knowing that this journey of mine is fulfilling to say the least. I am grateful for so much. I have come to realize that the way we process/internalize things effects the way we deal with them.It is my hope that wherever you are in your life, you take the time to realize that life as you know it can and will be as good as you make it. The struggle is real and the let downs are many but there is also memorable moments, unspeakable joy, good times and many things that are hoped for but not seen. Hold on to that hope and believe that with each passing day be it good, bad, so-so or just a day, you have the power to decide how you're going to let it effect you. Take care of yourself and wallow in optimism rather than pity and despair. Make the best of all that you face. Don't allow others to steal your joy or take more than you have to give.